Saturday, 23 March 2013

Growing up

Hello everybody,

Well it has been awhile and honestly I have been swamped with work and have been a little lazy. There are updates in my life, the most important is a new home. While most people would consider purchasing a home, the act of maturity, I would say there is so much more to it.

I know so many of you would consider buying a home just another move in life but for me it was life changing. At 26, consciously making a decision to buy a house with my mother for our family literally gave me stress gastric. I didn't even know there was such a thing. The thought of paying the bank every month with my salary had me cringing, my mother kept giving me words of encouragement, ensuring me that she would be there to help out. All I could think of was the fact my mother had used a pretty penny for the house already and it was my responsibility as the eldest child to pay for the house. For me I was so used to doing everything on my own without the help of others that  had always believed seeking assistance was a sign of weakness, something I hated.  What i didn't understand or failed to realise at that time was, I had to have the strength to share my duties with everybody. That is the mark of growing up. Learning to ask for help when needed, is not a sign of weakness but a sign of courage.

Just as I began to understand this crucial message, I had to assume more responsibilities. One day my mum came home and gave me the task to change the name of our utilities bill at three different companies, Tenaga Nasional Berhad (TNB), Indah Water Konsortium and SYABAS. I was at a loss for words. Panic slowly creeped in, blocking off air. Dramatic I know but this was my exact reaction. I understood that my mother had finally gained strength she needed to share her duties, a lesson I had just learned myself. Not wanting to disappoint her, I rose to the challenge. An easy task for many but for a person like myself who has never stepped in to any of these offices to conduct any transaction, it was frightening. The amount of running around I had to do was amazing. The system at our utilities/ government offices is baffling. I was forced to go through embarrassing moments, including waiting at the wrong counter for over 45 mins, asking strangers for assistance in filling up forms and hearing and not really comprehending the instructions officers were throwing my way. I am sure I would have seemed like a sputtering idiot to many of those officers. After all that, I felt total satisfaction knowing I had completed the tasks my mother had set out for me. I went home and laughed at my foolishness. I learnt another important lesson that day, learn to laugh at my own mistakes. Despite the fact we might feel totally ashamed about our blunders, we have to learn to take it lightly. :)

After the satisfaction of getting my tasks done, I learnt one final lesson. making decisions. Although I have been making decisions my whole life, they seem trivial now compared to the ones I have had to make for my new house. From purchasing items to deciding on renovations, I kept pushing the decision to a later time. Scared of making a mistake, I stalled the verdict for as long as I could. Until my mum, aunt and siblings stepped in to help decide for us. Sharing the decision making power is equally satisfying as making your own decisions but the key point here is TO MAKE A DECISION. Whether we like it or not decisions have to be made. Right or wrong we will only know if we take that first step. If it is wrong, like I said earlier, laugh it off if it is not that big a deal and if it is earth shattering, learn from your mistake. It may be a hard choice but hey at least it is your choice.

These three important lessons have made me realise that there is a whole lot more to growing up than we think. The backdrop of our life makes it easy for us to take in and study our every moves. Take the opportunity grasp important messages and laugh along the way.

Cheerios.. :)


  1. it's not a crime to ask help. but for some of us, giving is so much more easier than receiving. i'm like that too.
    it applies to a lot of other things in life as well. like the strength to receive love as much as we'd like to give.
    i'm always proud of you, woman.